Let's start this months article with a good old KillerB battle. This month it's with Tristan Marsman of Decipher. A couple of weeks ago I contributed to the Q Series article on DGMA. The next time I contributed I got cut and didn't make it in to the article. Needless to say, I was a little annoyed with this. So I sent him an e-mail: Will Hawkins? Now this is some funny shit. I can't wait to hear what the 142 ranked player in the world has to say on the game. Are you kidding me? My new name for you is the "Ringmaster" because you got nothing but a bunch of clowns writing for you. Thanks for proving my point. I appreciate the good laugh.
I guess I struck a nerve and he responded with:
Dude, you're such a loser... You're like the evil player that couldn't do nothing. I'd be surprised if you made top 10 in the WC this year. In fact, I think I'll be there to witness you not becoming WC this year either.
Thanks for making me laugh again over yet another silly email, since you don't get the point. You're so unlike the other highranked players; you lack, among a lot of other things, personality and a good writing style. And, most of all, you keep missing the target.
Keep it up and maybe someday, you'll become WC of something. I'll be picking people for my own website until then, thanks. My new name for you is number 5. Funny, last time I talked to you, you seemed to be higher up on the list.
Well, I just had to respond myself:
Top 10? I hope you're there when I run all your boys out. Your the "Ringmaster" and I'm going to abuse every member of the "clown squad". Now how's that for writing style? Your right, I'm not like other highranked player. What's the difference? I NEVER miss the target, and that's the Title. One of your clowns won it last year but he had to go through me to do it. Don't you forget who I am, the most recongnized player in the game. I didn't do that without any personality. Loser? Son, check this picture out and tell me your pulling better tail than this. And that's only one of them. I'll see your punk ass at GenCon, if you can't find me I'll be the guy on the stage with the big trophy.
John Corbett
http://home.comcast.net/~surfitch/
Don't jerkoff too hard you geek
He responded again, I guess:
Fine, if you really want to go into this.
> Top 10? I hope you're there when I run all your boys out. Your the Ringmaster and I'm going to abuse every member of the "clown squad". Now how's that for writing style?
Well, you spelled "your" incorrect, 2 times.
> Your right, I'm not like other highranked player.
Oh, there it is again.
> What's the difference? I NEVER miss the target, and that's the Title. One of your clowns won it last year but he had to go through me to do it.
Oh boy. Reality check: you weren't even in the final.
> Don't you forget who I am, the most recongnized player in the game. I didn't do that without any personality.
Illusions of Grandeur again. Oh well, I guess that's to be expected. All you can do is talk. When you fail to talk you make up stupid shit to mess up conventions. When that fails, you're left with playing the game at Tier 1, at which you didn't really do good (let's face it, Hayes was better than you and he only played because he thought it was easier than LotR).
> Loser? Son, check this picture out and tell me your pulling better tail than this. And that's only one of them. I'll see your punk ass at GenCon, if you can't find me I'll be the guy on the stage with the big trophy.
Didn't know they were giving out trophies for losers this year... I will need to check
The Hayes thing was too much, I had to break it down to him:
Oh, we can go.
> Well, you spelled "your" incorrect, 2 times.
Oh God, don't make fun of my bad grammar. If that's what you think it takes to be a good strategy writer no wonder you got clowns writing for you.
> Oh boy. Reality check: you weren't even in the final.
Your boy Frid got a lucky ass win off me Day 3, you better check in to reality son.
> let's face it, Hayes was better than you and he only played because he thought it was easier than LotR.
I BEAT hayes Day 2, are you fucking kidding me? Plus, I never seen somebody choke so bad before in my life. That fool ain't got no skills. I don't mess up conventions, I make them famous.
> Didn't know they were giving out trophies for losers this year... I will need to check.
What's that I can't hear you? Didn't think you did. Don't be jealous, maybe at GenCon I'll let her sit on yout lap. I bet it's been awhile since you've touched a girl.
I really like that last line, probably because it's true. He came back with this:
> Your boy Frid got a lucky ass win off me Day 3, you better check in to reality son.
My boy Frid won the World Championships. You finished nowhere near him. That's reality for ya.
> I BEAT hayes Day 2, are you fucking kidding me? Plus, I never seen somebody choke so bad before in my life. That fool ain't got no skills. I don't mess up conventions, I make them famous.
Hayes was in the final. There's reality knocking on your door again. The "fool" got the skill to beat you to the final.
> What's that I can't hear you? Didn't think you did. Don't be jealous, maybe at GenCon I'll let her sit on yout lap. I bet it's been awhile since you've touched a girl.
I'm not getting into a girlfriend debate, that's so extremely lame... Even lamer than this, since I got the list of the top 2 finishers of the WC last year sitting right here at my desk, and, funny enough for me, you're not on it.
Sorry if I make you feel bad.
Ah, I knew that last line would get him. I was smelling blood and wrote this:
> My boy Frid won the World Championships. You finished nowhere near him. That's reality for ya.
Um, 3rd place, and in "reality" I was ties for 2nd. You reading thats list in front of you right?
> Hayes was in the final. There's reality knocking on your door again. The "fool" got the skill to beat you to the final.
That fool was lucky enough not to have to play me day 3 or he wouldn't of been in the final.
> I'm not getting into a girlfriend debate, that's so extremely lame... Even lamer than this, since I got the list of the top 2 finishers of the WC last year sitting right here at my desk, and, funny enough for me, you're not on it.
I sure your a master-debater. Now that's style son. Bring that list with you to GenCon so I can wipe my ass with it
> Sorry if I make you feel bad,
Sorry, clowns like you make me laugh and feel pretty good.
After that he sent something saying thanks for the funny little e-mails and that he had to get back to work. Sounded like somebody tapping out to me. It was good stuff though, nothing like a good battle to get you motivated for Worlds. Now here’s how the TOC season went for me.
Two Territorials in 24 hours
It all starts with a bad beat story, like most things in my life do. It's Thursday night and I'm playing No-Limit at the Tropicana in Atlantic City with my Russian girlfriend. I'm up $300 and about to leave, I decide to limp in (when there's a small raise and you call) with 83 suited. The flop comes 3,J,3 and it's three-handed. I'm first to act and the player to my left is a player and to his left some fish (a term for easy money) I never seen before. I check, the player to my left bets $22 and the fish calls. With about $40 in the pot pre-flop and $44 just bet I wanted to get these guys out of the hand and go home with that so I decided to move all-in (the guy to my left had only $100 and the fish about $300). The guy to my left folds, he knows me too well, the fish thinks about it for a while. We were joking earlier about going all-in so I said, 'Well, here's your chance buddy.' A sure tell (a sign giving away someone's hand) I have a three, this being wasted since he's not that good. He says, 'Fuck it' and calls. I tell him I have a three and he says, 'That's good for now.' The Turn a Queen and the River a King. Then he flips over his two cards, KK! A full house! Going into the river he's a 95.6% underdog, but that's poker baby. I pay him off, $297. I do some math in my head; I'm still up $37 for the night. So I pick up my checks (chips) and leave. On the 'long' drive home (it takes about an hour but after a bad beat it always seems longer) I remember about the tournament in Yorktown VA. So I decided I needed a little break from poker and I want to be the one pooping on people's heads.
I drop the Russian off and get home about 5 a.m. Friday morning, tell the 'wife' to pack some stuff, call out of work (she was a little sick) and that we're going down to Virginia. My Dad lives in Newport News, which is about 3 miles from the store so I give him a call a head down.
Saturday morning I get to the store and I'm walking when this guy points and says, 'John Corbett?' I didn't recognize him and just kept walking like he was a nobody, I thought he was just some local clown who recognized me. Then realized it was John from Decipher who was the judge at Worlds. I said, 'Sorry buddy, I didn't recognize you without the Decipher shirt on. I didn't mean to clown you like that.' John's a good guy, he runs a good tournament and decided to run this event so the original TD could play. See, I don't hate everyone who's affiliated with Decipher.
The Territorial runs smoothly for me after 5 rounds. I took my Dominion Infiltrator deck. Problem is it only gets timed wins. But I did manage one full win and after 5 rounds I was tied for 2nd. Since I never lost I owned any tie-breakers and played the final against a guy I already beat. With final confrontations being untimed he knew his chances were not good. He was also playing Dominion but his was a Jem'Hadar solver. He put up a good fight but I won in the end. Got my T-shirt and my byes and some of my Trek confidence back. Grabbed my stuff and the World Heavyweight Belt, which everyone in Virginia marked out for, and headed home.
I got home to New Jersey about 4:30 a.m. and got about 5 hours sleep, picked up the Russian and was ready to go again. This time there was more at stake; if Michael Keller wins not only is he the Territorial Champ he also would win the World Title. I decide to play the same deck, with a couple of changes. This would prove to be a fatal error. The first round I'm paired against my Russian. I only had time to teach her in one game. So this game went pretty slow and I got a timed win. I draw Kellerman, as I like to call him, in the 2nd round. He's playing the 'broken-ass gay Borg Deck', my new name for it. This thing is fast and it is stupid. Discard half your deck by interlinking and then swapping all the drones you need with the Queen, nice and broken. I put up a little struggle but it's pointless and he wins. 3rd round I get a bye, shit, I'll take 3 points. 4th round I get Len, he's playing the same-old Cardassian Comfort Women deck, but the worst part is he's winning with it. He's off by turn 3 and my dilemmas crap out on me, for some reason I draw like 1 event in the first 4 turns and that kinda hurts when it's all based around Formal Hearings, Tsolvski Infections and Whisper in the Dark. So I get abused again, for some reason I get the worst situations against Mike and Len, I've made these guys into monsters. Kellerman wins his last game when Nikolai blows it when he could've solved his last mission. He hit Gomtuu Shockwave and he only had one Diplomacy (Kell), but he had Telepathy but Integrity at exactly 35. What he missed was that he had a shady resource and could've had the two Diplomacy and he would've been over the 32 integrity that's required. Len was hounding him for missing that play, they playtest a lot together, but I told him not to worry about it. That's a tough play to see, and he's still a young player. He'll be good someday.
So the final was Len versus Kellerman with my title hanging in the balance. I wanted to leave but since the belt might change hands I was forced to sit and watch. Len jumped out to a commanding lead. At this point I was feeling pretty good. Len was up 2 missions and Kellerman was working on his first. Len got stopped on his third and had four underneath. Kellerman drops another ship, solves the mission where he's at, swaps ships, goes to the 2nd mission, solves that and heads to the third. He's about to get 100 points in one turn and abuse the shit out of Len, but Kellerman gets stopped by a Flim-flam; no Locutus out for him, too bad. Len has 5 guys on his last mission, he plays two guys, picks them up and goes back. He attempts with 7 and gives Kellerman 3 points to work with. Why he would give 3 points to a guy who's playing an attrition dilemma pile is beyond me. I'm sure there was a better play he could've made. Kellerman draws a Dressing Down and it's lights out for Len. Kellerman drops a Locutus and attempts again, survives a So Many Enemies and a Murder Investigation, solves the mission and wins. What a bum Len is, he blows the Territorial and in the process gives the belt to Kellerman. All kidding aside, Mike's a good player and it'll be tough for anybody to take it from around his waist (I'm sorry Mike, I had to do it). The deck might be broken, but he put the effort in and earned this tournament and the Belt.
The fatal error I made was not adjusting to the metas of each TOC. I knew I wasn't going to see any competition in Virginia. I'm not being a dick, you guys played good there, I'm just saying. So I could get away with a slower, stall-type deck, but in Jersey that stuff won't win. I knew Kellerman was playing Borg and Len always plays something fast. The only way to beat speed is with speed, unless you get lucky. I don't get lucky, ever. So take a lesson from me, if everyone is playing speed in your area get faster or get luckier. You can only prepare for one.
So overall I say the trip was a success, I lost the Belt and got abused in Jersey again but I owned Virginia and got my byes. Next month is the Jersey Master and the new Green Jacket will be awarded to the winner. With a new prize comes a new format, there will be two separate tournaments on Saturday and Sunday. But the combined scores from both will determine who wins the Jacket and the NJ Premier Points.
For pictures go to:
http://home.comcast.net/~surfitch/NJ_2004_TOC/NJ2004TOC.htm
Here's April's Standings in the New Jersey Premier Series:
1. Len Neidorf 60 Pts.
2. Michael Keller 48 Pts.
3. John Corbett 42 Pts.
4. Nikolai Fomich 36 Pts.
5. James Bottomly 26 Pts.
6. Rob Tapp 16 Pts.
7. Steve Fitchett 14 Pts.
8. Cliff Lentz 8 Pts.
9. Vera Sergeyeva 8 Pts.
NJ Premier Series Schedule
Jan. 24th- KillerBOWL IV, Champion: Len Neidorf
Feb. 22nd- The New Jersey Pre-Territorial Open, Champion: Michael Keller
Mar. 28th - New Jersey Territorial, Champion: Michael Keller
Apr.- The Jersey Masters, Cinnaminson NJ
May- The New Jersey Player's Championship (Major) $10 entry fee
July- KillerSLAM!
Sep.- The World Champion Invitational
Oct.- The New Jersey Premier Series Fall Classic
Nov.- KillerBAD BLOOD!
Dec.- The New Jersey Premier Series Championship (Major) $10 entry fee
Point Breakdown
1st- 24 Pts.
2nd- 18 Pts.
3rd & 4th- 14 Pts.
5th thru 8th- 8 Pts.
9th thru 16th- 6 Pts.
17th thru 24th- 2 Pts.
26th thru 32nd- 1 Pt.
* Majors worth double points
Prizes
$60 cash (minimum)
Complete Set of Premier 2E Foils
Complete Set of Enhance 1E Premier
#1 Contender for the WTE Title and more to come (donations welcome)
We actually have something in the mailbag this month and it comes from Olav Rokne:
Hey John,
I really am enjoying your New Jersey article series-- finally a reason to read WNOHGB again. Plus it's getting me stoked for Gen Con.
Perhaps I'll have a chance to lose a game to you :-)
--Olav
Last year at GenCon I was waiting for my flight home when this guy behind me heard Len and I talking about Trek. It was Olav. We talked for the brief time while we were in line and he seemed like a good guy. I hope you get your chance Olav, unless it's sealed. A lot of players when they see me say, 'I remember you, I beat you before.' I'm ask them when and they always say some sealed event. I tell them good for you but I don't count sealed. There's nothing wrong with being a good sealed deck player, it's just not my forte. I don't recall playing Olav in sealed, but I'm sure he would beat me as well.
I just want to wrap this up with a little something for Tristan Marsman. Just in case you wonder where I got my 'Illusions of Grandeur' from this might help:
John Corbett - 46 picks
Brian Sykes - 23 picks
Justin Beal - 18 picks
Kris Sonsteby - 18 picks
Hayes Hunter - 13 picks
Michael Keller - 12 picks
Franklin Kenter - 12 picks
Jesse Carlucci - 11 picks
Greg Hodur - 10 picks
Robert Corbett - 8 picks
Matthew Frid - 8 picks
This is last years fantasy team picks. Since you like lists so much I thought I jolt your memory with one. I pulled it off of 'your' website. I believe I have twice as many votes as any other player. That would make me the most recognized player in the game. You're not the first man to doubt me and, I'm sure, not the last. But in the end, just like the rest, you will come to know that I am just THAT DAMN GOOD! I'll see you clowns around. And Tristan, I'll see you at Worlds.
John Corbett- "How can you not sing for all to hear?"
P.S. any questions, stories, fan/hate mail please feel free to send to johncorbettjr2 at comcast dot net
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